Seniors Guide to Online Dating
Tips for a Pleasant Online
Experience
They say that when you’re older, you’re wiser. Some will go as far to exclaim that since you know yourself better, you have a good sense of what you’re looking for in a partner. At 50+, you’ve had more life experiences - such as marriage, children, widowhood and retirement - that have influenced your dating choices. You’ve also become established in your own ways, routines and habits, and may fear change.
Yet, with the average American living longer, the desire to experience the remainder of life with a companion has grown even stronger. And, with an estimated 9 million adults logging on daily to find love online, isn’t it time to give online dating a try?
Here are a few facts: Men are the bravest when it comes to internet dating. Women, on the other hand, are a bit more hesitant; they don’t like to advertise that they’re single for fear of appearing desperate. All that aside, I can guarantee that if a woman has good results with online dating, almost every one of her single friends will give it a try! That, and the fact that thousands of people of all ages have had wonderful success with online dating should be impetus enough to give it a try!
Before embarking on your first foray into online dating, here’s
a tip that always makes sense: Look for someone with shared interests.
That holds true no matter how old you are. Relationships can only go so
far on physical attraction, and being real friends with someone who loves
what you enjoy doing ultimately means you make less sacrifices, which
is key to a relationship of substance and depth.
GETTING STARTED: How Online Dating Works
l You sign up, and create your personal
profile, which consists of answering a series of simple questions, writing
a small descriptive essay, and posting a few photos. You should think
of this profile as your chance to market yourself.
l After your profile has been submitted and approved
(typically 24 hours), you can start browsing other profiles. You can input
your favorite qualities along with a location radius into a search engine,
and see who pops up on your screen.
l When you come across someone who catches your
eye, you have the option to send an “interest”, to proverbially
test the waters, or be bold and send an email.
l If e-mail is too slow for you, try communicating
with members live via chat room. Some online dating sites also have an
Instant Message option, so you can chat in real-time online but still
keep it intimate.
l Finally, if your online correspondence has been
flowing smoothly, take it to the next level! Suggest a date to speak
on the phone.
Easy to Follow Online Dating Tips
Figure out what you want
If you don’t know what you really want or need, then it will take
you that much longer to find it. Be honest with yourself about what kind
of relationship you’d prefer to be involved in, to save yourself
(and others) time and trouble.
Be Honest
While discretion is recommended, lying is not, so be honest when you post
your profile and photos. Watch out for someone who seems too good to be
true. The person at the other end may not be who or what he or she says.
Trust your instincts.
Write a great profile
What you say about yourself speaks volumes. Keep it light and friendly,
and avoid anything negative sounding. Never include your last name, email
address, home address, phone number, place of work or any other identifying
information in your member
profile or initial messages. Ask someone close to you, like a friend,
child or even grandchild, to read it through before you post it. Since
they know you best, their opinions and suggestions can definitely help
bolster your profile!
Request a photo
And don’t forget to post your own. It’s a proven fact that
you’ll receive twelve times as many responses when you upload a
photo. Pictures will give you an idea of someone’s appearance, as
well as insight into his/her personality. (Photo’s of someone surrounded
by their grandchildren speaks volumes about family commitment, which might
be a quality you’re looking for in a mate). It’s also
best to view several images of someone in various settings: casual, formal,
indoors and outdoors, which act as a great visual aid to a person’s
profile.
Chat on the phone
Before you decide to meet, a phone call can reveal much about a person’s
communication and social skills. Only give your phone number when you
feel completely comfortable.
Meet when YOU are ready
The beauty of meeting and relating online is that you can collect information
gradually, later choosing whether to pursue the relationship in the offline
world. You never are obligated to meet anyone, regardless of your level
of online intimacy.
Watch for red flags
Pay attention to displays of anger, intense frustration or attempts to
pressure or control you. Acting in a passive-aggressive manner, making
demeaning or disrespectful comments or any physically inappropriate behavior
are all red flags.
Meet in a safe place
When you choose to meet in ‘real life’, always tell someone
close to you where you are going and when you will return. Leave your
date’s name and telephone number with your friend. Rather than have
your date pick you up at home, provide your own transportation, and meet
in a public (crowded) place . When the date is over, we recommend that
you leave on your own as well (at least until you feel comfortable with
the person you’re dating).
Take extra caution outside your area
If you are flying in from another city, arrange for your own car and hotel
room. Do not disclose the name of your hotel and never allow your date
to make the arrangements for you. If it doesn’t work out, you’ll
have a place to go back to.
Following these tips can help ensure an enjoyable and safe online dating experience. Who knows, the stars may all line up perfectly, and you'll find you've met your soul mate online! You certainly wouldn't be the first — lots of happy couples have met online.
Hopefully, we can add you to the list.