Aging Clutterers
Time For Safe & Smart Actions
Lois walks through the narrow lanes in her two-bedroom condo. Her shoulders brush against piles stacked haphazardly. Her walker gets caught on a box jutting out and the paper contents fall onto the floor: past-due bills, receipts, newspaper clippings, catalogs, computer print outs. Lois bends her short, stout body unsteadily down to pick up the mess, an action she repeats all day long. Lois, a 69-year-old widow, is prone to falling, has been hospitalized for bone fractures, and has survived fifty years with diabetes.
Retirement, her husband’s death, and more recently becoming unable to drive anymore, has led to unhealthy social isolation. Even Lois’s two sons visit her only once a year: there’s no room for them to sit and visit, and it’s also an unsafe environment for her young grandchildren. Often, relatives of out-of-control clutterers may feel resentful and hopeless about the situation and withdraw.
Lois was influenced by attitudes about scarcity, like many who lived through the Great Depression, and their children. These folks derive comfort by collecting, saving everything, and keeping it all close by. Lois compounded the issue by marrying a clutterer. Each had successful professional careers. Yet, her sons grew up feeling suffocated and embarrassed by their parents’ hoarding. The behavioral problem of overloading a home can affect several generations in a family.
Over-the-top collecting and saving behaviors create risks to Lois’s physical health, safety, and financial security.
- Every room is very dusty and the heaps impede walking around, housecleaning or repairs. Newspapers and unopened mail spill over from the counter onto her kitchen stovetop, creating a fire hazard.
- Lois spends a lot of money ordering too much from the grocery store – food that often goes to waste. Her refrigerator is chock-full of inaccessible items. Lois scrapes the mold off of cheese, eats expired yogurt and then often complains of stomach aches.
- Via internet, Lois constantly overspends by purchasing books, CD’s, clothing, household items, and toiletries. I counted roughly 1000 articles of clothing stuffed into closets, with what can’t fit cast off on the floor, price tags still attached to some.
- Magazines, boxes, and mail arrive daily, enticing her to purchase more. New merchandise crowds her living space. Slipping and tripping are major concerns.
- Unable to find her bills, she often pays late fees. She plans to weed through and organize everything but never gets to it, even though she has good intentions.
Approximately 30% of the U.S. population are clutterers and 1% of them are hoarders, behavioral patterns that may be caused by depression or exacerbate it. The common underlying cause is often childhood deprivation or abuse. People who save too much will tell you they feel safer when surrounded by so many belongings – but actually they are less safe.
What happens when clutterers age into their 60s, 70s, and older?
- As we have seen with Lois, living in a cluttered home can be hazardous and lonely.
- Overspending and financial disorganization can threaten economic well being.
- A fall or any unexpected decline in health can catch you off guard! Once this occurs, you can lose control over what items stay or leave, in order to make your home safe for your return.
- Your living quarters may need to incorporate aging-friendly features and perhaps extra services. These changes require letting go of collections that won’t fit – a daunting task. Family and friends worry about having this fall heavily on their shoulders.
What solutions are available to clutterers and those in their life?
- There are great books, websites and support groups that provide useful information and motivation to get started. However, most people cannot de-clutter all by themselves.
- An organizational system must be set up for all incoming items, starting with the mail. The key to success is diligence in tossing unneeded mail immediately.
- Working side by side with a professional organizer or senior move manager is imperative to choose goals, keep on task, and ultimately succeed. The clutterer experiences less stress and more control if they are involved in the process and make decisions about which category their possessions fit into: keep, toss, donate, or sell.
- The process of weeding through and reorganizing can seem slow. Setbacks are common and that’s why you need a vigilant helper who is patient, encouraging and tough, keeping you on task.
Chronic disorganization is time-consuming and mentally draining. Making headway to de-clutter and reorganize brings healthy, pleasurable benefits. Finding lost items can be thrilling. Lois is an extreme example, but if you identify with any of what I’ve described, or recognize the pattern in a friend or family member, I recommend acting now to tackle the problem. Stop procrastinating.
- Take one step right after you put down this magazine. Begin by acknowledging the problem by writing down: “I have too much stuff and I need help now. I can change my life for the better.”
- Phone someone, whether friend, relative or professional, who can help you to take the next step in finding assistance.
- Get individual, hands-on, help in organizing your home from a member of the National Association of Professional Organizers (www.napo.net) or National Association of Senior Move Managers (www.nasmm.org).
- Manage anxiety by working with a psychological counselor. Check with your doctor about medications to help you deal with depression and anxiety.
- Contact Clutterers Anonymous or other websites about tips and support groups.
- To keep your spirits up, listen to the book Stuff by Dr. Randy Frost, or other books on the subject.
After working side by side with me for two years, Lois is making good headway. Pathways are clear, her sofa and two chairs are uncovered for company to sit on. She has begun cooking again, after removing hazardous items from the counter. Lois has managed to organize, donate and toss a third of her stuff. She shared with me, “Now I enjoy moving around my apartment with ease”. The new housecleaner can now reach uncovered areas to clean. Her house smells fresh. “My kids said the place looked even better than last year, when they came recently.” Lois smiled as she commented, feeling pleased about her progress.
This is a true story; let it inspire you!