A Spiritual End-of-Life Journey
The first thing *Florence said to me was, “I’m ready to die. I want to just go to sleep some night and not wake up the next morning.” She had spent most of her 90 years in one church and had faith that she would wake up in heaven.
*Josh was only 30-years-old when diagnosed with a fast-growing cancer. He hadn’t thought much about God during his adult life, but now he was angry with Him.
*Jeffrey had become disillusioned with church and drew his spiritual strength from quiet walks in the woods. He believed faith was a very private thing for each person.
Each of these people is unique in the way they experience and express their spirituality. As the Pastoral Counselor at Hope Hospice, I must meet each person where they are and help guide each one toward spiritual peace in their end-of-life journey. The task is to honor the Divine in each soul, helping them to explore what will nourish them. Having my own agenda is out of the question; I am there to meet others’ needs, not to project my thoughts and ideas.
When Florence entered hospice, she was already at peace within herself and with God. Each time I visited with her, we talked about her past and recollections of the little town where she grew up.
Florence liked having visits from her pastor who came often. She enjoyed it when he read Scripture to her and prayed. Finally, one morning Florence didn’t wake up. Rather than being sad, it was a very joyful time for her family and the hospice staff. Florence had accepted and embraced death and her spiritual end-of-life journey had been sweet.
This was not the case with Josh, who was facing death at a very young age. He began to think of all the things he would never be able to do and the dreams that would go unfulfilled. He was forced to give up a job he loved and a hobby that he enjoyed. He knew that he would never see his young son go to school or graduate and he wouldn’t be able to play ball with him or have father/son talks.
Josh did a good job of keeping his “spirits up,” but admitted that at times he would “lose it” and shout angry things at God. This was the first step in acknowledging that he actually did believe in God. Josh needed to know that God was not punishing him, but indeed God loved him and forgave him. Some patients who are face-to-face with death suddenly become aware of their spiritual emptiness. They may want to reconcile with an estranged family member. I welcome the opportunity to facilitate these meetings to bring healing and closure. Often family members are in as much need of healing as the patient. I try to be a supportive presence during these times and sit with family members until they are ready to talk.
Jeffrey’s family had concerns that he was not dealing with important issues because he was not sharing with them. But because his faith was a private matter, he didn’t feel the need to talk. The family came to respect his privacy and deal with their own individual needs. After his death they were able to reflect on their father’s life in a healing way, remembering his quiet ways and how he had influenced each of their lives.
Just as birth is a unique time for each of us, death is also a personal, one-time event. At Hope Hospice, it is our goal to make the last part of life, the journey into another realm, a peaceful and significant time for each individual and family.
* Not their real names.