Senior Citizen's Guide to Philadelphia and Suburbs Fall/Winter 2014 - 15 - page 17

Boomers Resource Guide
• Fall/Winter 2014-15
Try to f ind the real reasons
behind resistance. A seemingly
resistant loved one could be
frightened that he or she is no
longer able to do tasks that were
formerly so easy, or chronic
untreated pain may be making it
difficult. It might be more com-
fortable to deny it and minimize
problems. Perhaps he or she is
grieving the loss of a loved one,
or frustrated at not being able
to connect with friends. If your
loved one has a hard time getting
out and is losing support, he or
she is also at risk for depression.
Express your concerns as your
own, without accusing. A loved
one might be more open to your
honest expressions of concern.
For example, instead of saying
“It’s clear you can’t take care of
yourself anymore. Something
needs to be done”, try “I’ve really
been worried about you. It hurts
me to think that you might not be
getting everything you need.What
do you think we should do?”
Be honest about your limitations
(family, work, health) and em-
phasize the need to protect the
parent/child relationship. Getting
a helper would help “you”. Your
parent would be more agreeable
if they were doing it for “you”.
Respect your loved one’s au-
tonomy and involve him or her
in decisions. Unless your loved
one is incapacitated, the final
decision about care is up to him
or her. Your job is to research
and present all the options and
always let them make the final
decision. Living home alone
with no help is NOT one of the
options though! You can help by
offering suggestions and ideas.
For example, what home care
services might bridge the gap?
If you’re worried that home
care might not be enough, what
Tips on Talking to Your Loved One
About Getting Some Help
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